Mental Health The Enemy Within

In lieu of World Mental Health Day, October 10, let me ask what is mental health? Big question isn’t it. Do we really understand what it encompasses? My child just had a lesson about harmful stress and good stress in health class and he is only 8½  years old. For someone at a very young age, he is very well versed in what stress and anxiety is all about. He even shared with his class what happens to a person when one has a panic attack. According to him this is what happens –

“Blankness, light headedness, losing the ability to control your emotions, numbness and loss of stability and high blood pressure and fast heart beating.”

I kid you not, those are his exact words, verbatim.

So, again, I ask, what is mental health? Let’s try to break it down to better understand this.

Health: as a state of complete physical, mental, and social well-being.

Wow. That’s a lot to take in. How do we even determine what all that means. How do we be completely healthy physically, mentally, and have social well-being. Who can determine that and how to we accomplish that?

According to the World Health Organization. Being physically and mentally healthy can be determined by your doctor. The only difference is how one behaves or looks. One can look sick and is sick, another can be sick and not look sick. Other times, one does not look sick, and is actually sick. So, when one is not well, that person’s support system will have a big influence on how he or she will fight the disease or live with it.

Also, it is important to not label people with diseases. It is better to refer to them as people than their disease or ailment.  It is then better to say “a person with schizophrenia” rather than “a schizophrenic,” or a “person who has diabetes” rather than a “diabetic.” [directly cited from the National Library of Medicine]

Then there’s also the factor of their capacity to function in their daily lives. Finding balance within themselves, their situation, their family, environment, and everything else that is going around them. This means finding a way to live life to the fullest without letting their illness or disease or ailment stop them from enjoying what life has to offer.

Mental: from the Latin word, mentis, of the mind; frame of mind.

The brain is a mysterious organ. It controls everything in your body, when it fails, everything else fails. When your mind is fully functioning, it seems like the whole world is working like a fully synchronized clock. But when your mind is not a well-oiled machine, it’s like a fuse blew up in there and screws are firing from all cylinders in there.

Our mind enables us to think, feel, see, smell, smell, taste, imagine, remember, experience pleasure, pain, love, desire, hate, happiness, anger, sadness, loss, surprise, fear, shame, anxiety, depression, etc. Our mind controls so many functions that when we lose control, things get out of control.

Now, when this is when we put it all together and talk about our Mental Health. What’s the best way to discuss this? By talking about “freeze, flight, or fight.” Ever heard of that? Well, I found this book called ‘Please Explain ‘Anxiety’ to Me!’ from Amazon to explain anxiety to my child. It was much easier to understand, even for myself, than reading a 300-page book.

Basically, during the age of the dinosaurs, they were in constant danger, and their options were, one, to freeze and hope that the bigger dinosaurs would not see them and go away; two, run away and hope to be faster than the threatening dinosaur; three, fight and hope to survive the battle.  

Now, for us people, we are not in a constant state of danger. But for some people they feel like they are in danger or at least what is deemed as a false sense of danger. This is when they end up worrying that something is wrong or will go wrong. They feel an intense sense of concern, a persistent fear, dread, or uneasiness. This makes their entire body in a constant state of alertness which is not good.  

When there is a false sense of danger the body has nowhere to go. There is no ‘freeze, hopefully the danger won’t see me and go away.’ There would be no “I’ll run away and hope that the threatening danger won’t catch me.’ And lastly, there would most definitely be no “I’ll fight the danger and win this battle.’ So, what reaction would the mind and body of that person having this perceived danger have then? 

A panic attack, and as my son has so clearly put it, it would look like this: 

“Blankness, light headedness, losing the ability to control your emotions, numbness and loss of stability and high blood pressure and fast heart beating.” 

A friend described having a panic attack as being still and yet floating on waves in the ocean and trying to stay afloat to get some air.  

Just to share, the first time I had a panic attack, I didn’t even know I was having one, it was triggered by having an having eaten something I did not know I was allergic too. My hands were both tingling, numb, and I couldn’t move my fingers. Both sides of my head were numb, and it felt like my head was being squished. My sides by my waist and ribs were also going numb, frozen, and at the same time it felt like something was twisting my body and putting pressure on it. Then at some point, my legs started feeling weak and it was like I was having cramps. I didn’t learn it was a panic attack until years later. At that moment, we all thought it was just a severe allergic reaction, and that was what I was treated for.  

Panic attacks are scary. It really does. If you don’t understand what it really is, what your triggers are and do not learn coping skills that work for you, then it will constantly happen. If you do not seek help, it may get worse. It will develop into a more serious health problem. Remember above when we spoke about health, a state of complete physical, mental, and social well-being;  

Now, if your mental state is in constant flux, your physical health will suffer. Constant panic attacks can cause increased heart rate, high blood pressure, headaches, and heart attacks. If you feel you are in constant danger, your social well-being will suffer as well because you will feel that your environment is not safe – mainly, the people around you are a threat. Without social interactions, your negative feelings and negative thoughts are all that you are burdened with. Human experiences give us connections, a lifeline, support, friendships, shared interests, common goals, healthy relationships, and someone to talk to – which is a powerful thing. Having someone to talk to, in my opinion, is the easiest way to relieve stress. That person you talk to can give you support while you vent. Hence, talking is a powerful thing.  

Without support, the right support, what happens? All that stress builds up. That emotion is boiling inside waiting to come out. Without being able to deal with that kind of emotion in a healthy manner, or in the most positive way, sadly, it will lead to extreme stress, anxiety, and depression. Which is one thing we all want to prevent. But the truth is, according to John Hopkins Medicine, about 1 in 4 American adults suffers from a diagnosable mental disorder in any given year. 

According to the World Health Organization, in the first year of the Covid-19 Pandemic, global anxiety and depression increased by a whopping 25% and yet global governments only spent an average of over 2% on mental health budgets and many low income countries had less than 1 mental health worker for every 100,000 people.

The question is, how do we cope? How do we manage our stress so that it all does not boil over and erupt? Well, here are a few steps we can take to prevent that from happening: 

1.      Talk.

Talk it out. Get that stress out. Talk to someone you can trust. Talk to a professional. Talk to a priest. A counselor. Someone who is in a position to give you the right support and assistance when in need.

2.      Ask your Doctor.

It may be time to ask your doctor. Believe it or not, there are several factors that affect your mental health, like brain chemistry, genetics, environment, trauma or abuse, family history, etc. and these factors can be treated by a doctor. So, seek help.  

3.      Educate Yourself.

Also seek proper information. Research signs and symptoms, treatment options and then consult your doctor. Keep up to date with research to help yourself or a loved one. But please, don’t get your information from just anywhere like social media. Get relevant information from reliable sources like the American Psychiatric Association, American Medical Association, The Public Library, various medical school websites and journals, government websites, etc.

Where do we go from here? What can we do? But is that really the right question? I think not. I believe the question we need to ask is WHAT DO WE WANT TO DO!  

Someone close to me suffered from depression and no matter the amount of help we offered, that person did not get better, and it led to the worse possible outcome: suicide. The worst scenario is that panic attacks can lead to a heart attack, depression can lead to suicide.  

Mental Health Day is about awareness. I believe it is also about being more conscious about what our friends and loved ones are going through. We may not be trained to recognize the signs of anxiety and depression or do we know how to prevent suicide, but being there and being aware, mindful, being more sensitive and empathic to our friends and family and loved ones could make a difference.  

Whether we know exactly what is happening to someone’s daily life or not, don’t let months or years go by without ringing a friend. Don’t let being ‘busy’ be an excuse to say ‘hello’ and ask ‘how are you feeling today.’ Remember to be kind and gracious to each other. These things do make a difference. When you say ‘how are you’ – mean it. Instead of spending minutes on social media, or while doing one of your chores, or before you turn on the tv, or before you start playing your video game, how about, during your work break, take a pause and try to text a friend and say hello today.

Lastly, your mental health is more precious than treasure. Without your mind, your body is worth nothing. Your mind is your best investment. 

We need to stop looking down on mental health issues. It is real. People are suffering. People are hurting. People are dying. We need to work towards acceptance and healing. We need to help each other to mend and restore each other’s welfare; to have a state of complete physical, mental, and social well-being.

Also, I just want to share this book about calming your worries: A Little Spot of Anxiety. It’s a book to help kids understand anxiety and there’s a really nice short poem and hand activity that goes with it to help kids calm down and breathe out their worries away. I found that the book’s advice helped me as well. It’s simple, easy to remember, and not complicated. I know I’ve been sharing kid’s books, but it’s so much easier to comprehend. Hope it helps you and those of you with kids too.

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